If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again.

My second attempt to impress the judges at NYC Midnight

Dec 07, 2023

Well, I’ve done it again— another NYC Midnight writing challenge under my belt, and the results might just surprise you. They certainly surprised me. I wrote an essay1 last year about my first experience competing in one of NYC Midnight’s challenges. It was their 250-word Microfiction Challenge and as my daughter accurately predicted, “Oh, you don’t have a chance, dad.” If you read the essay, you’ll discover she was right. But it was fun, and I learned a lot, and the judges offered feedback which made the price of entry feel more like an investment than a fee.

I’ll get into this year’s challenge in a moment, but have no problem admitting now, last year’s experience with this type of competition was a little stressful— the short fuse, late night, assignment notification and firm restrictions on word count/genre/etc. all contributed to the stress. In fact, after the 250-word challenge, I wasn’t entirely sure I’d compete again. Then I started getting emails about some of the other challenges they host. And deep down, I knew the restrictions made for a better, more rewarding, writing exercise. I figured it increased the return on my investment. All good things, wouldn’t you agree?

I began to think, “Huh. Maybe one more go at this thing. Maybe one with a little more slack.” I’d apparently forgotten the stress, the exhausting late-night writing, the anxiousness of waiting for the results (along with some 5,400 other competitors), and so there I was— sucked into to the idea of competing— stuck with the notion that I could (and should) do this again. I looked at the dates, my schedule, and decided to go for it. NYC Midnight’s 500-word Fiction Challenge for 2023 sounded perfect.

The format of the challenge goes like this:

Register for the competition. They have early bird registration discounts up until about a month out, then it’s full price. Each competition has different fees, so I’d recommend going to their website here for the most up to date information. With that said, it cost me less than it does to take my kids to McDonald’s for a quick fix grease-bombed supper.
At midnight, on the night of the challenge (dates are posted on their website and updates and reminders are forwarded via email), competitors are notified of their assigned genre, a specific object which must be included in the story, and a specific action which must be demonstrated in the story.
It goes without saying that the word count for a 500-word competition must be 500 words or less, but the title doesn’t count nor the brief plot summary they ask to accompany the submission. Basically, one must be precise with linguistic choices and welcome conjunctions as their new best friend. I’ve learned through other resources the title can be a way to play chessnut-checkers (a story for another time) with the judges and to set another hook without breaking the word count. They’re free words after all. So, if you were writing a story about a young girl who is introduced to disappointment in life by trying to blow up a balloon her father gave her before leaving for work, you could title it “Red Balloon,” or you could title it “The Sting of a Red Balloon on a Young Girl’s Mouth.” It feels a little counterintuitive to show your cards in this way, but with only 500 words, you can slip in tone or a message with a title, or at least set up an evocative response. The winning title from last year’s 250-word challenge offers a great example of this technique. I’ll include a link2 at the bottom of this essay. It’s a good read in my opinion and worth another five minutes of your day. It’s pretty sad (another common theme I’ve learned), so you’ve been warned.
The submission window for each round is 48 hours.
Finally, with the story submitted, the competitors are encouraged to read other’s submissions and offer feedback prior to the results being released. This is the fun part, and I have made at least one long-term writing connection from each challenge through this process. Setting up the forum account/system is free, but not without some clunkiness, at least for this crayon eating Marines, so have a coffee before you begin this step. Maybe even practice some meditation or breathing exercises too. I needed a combination of all three and still had to email the help desk. To be fair though, I hadn’t eaten my crayons for the day, so…

It all sounds pretty easy, right? That’s what I was thinking. Like I said, I really thought about this one and gave myself a lot more slack than last year— double the word count (250:500) and double the time to write it (24:48 hours). Easy day!

The only thing I was anxious about was the genre assignment. Last year’s assignment was fairytale/fantasy— not my jam— not my jam at all. I remember thinking, “anything but a fairytale or fantasy!” As the competition approached, a most unfortunate thing happened which would complicate things. My grandfather passed away, and the natural grief which accompanies the loss of someone you love cast a shadow I could not escape. I think my mother called me early on a Thursday morning to let me know of his passing and the competition was scheduled to begin the following day. I considered withdrawing, but that didn’t feel very writery of me, so I recommitted to the challenge and resigned myself to a pitiful showing. After all, it was only 500 words and I had had already sacrificed a McDonald’s meal for it. You’ve read almost double that already, with 951 words written as of the last word of this sentence. Then on Friday afternoon— about eight hours before the competition kicked off— my mother called again and asked me if I would write and deliver my grandfather’s eulogy at his funeral which would be the following week.

“Of course,” I said, but I had never written a eulogy before. Let me tell you, it’s not easy. I couldn’t think of anything else, and yet, I couldn’t think of anything to say either. He was a Marine like me, so I felt I should include a few special things about his service and that part of our relationship. He was beloved by all, so I needed to figure out a way to honor others’ relationships with him. And he was funny, so I wanted to figure out a way to inject some humor. I had to find the right scripture to include but didn’t want to use the commonly read suggestions on the internet. There’s nothing wrong with them of course, they just didn’t resonate with me. Though I’m not a poet, for some reason, poetry kept creeping into my head, and before I knew it midnight had struck. The first round of the competition which I had recommitted to was officially under way, the eulogy was tripping over itself, and a dadgum poem was slapping me in the face! To say I regretted my decision to continue with the competition would be an understatement. To say it couldn’t get any worse would be plain ol’ wrong.

I saved a rough draft of the eulogy and logged into the NYC Midnight competition portal for my group and writing assignments. Aahhhgggg… The damned assignments.

My assignments were:

Genre - Romantic Comedy

Object - A broken chair

Action - slurping

A RomCom.?.?.? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Give me fairytale/fantasy! Sorry. I got frustrated all over again. Language, Aaron. Language. Having an additional day to draft, revise, and submit my short-short story was going to be necessary. I charged my glass of wine, penned a quick poem (the thing was really starting to become an issue), and went to bed hoping for a dream about something romantic and funny. Neither occurred. The next day I wrote and deleted and wrote some more. I finished two complete short stories but knew they were crap, so I tossed them. Then I drafted a third which I thought might work. After completely revising it, I had my wife read it so I could get her thoughts. Her face said enough. It was added to the growing pile of trashed stories. I was trying to forget about my grandfather’s passing and write a RomCom but couldn’t shake my thoughts about him. Oh, and in case you were wondering, RomComs aren’t my jam either.

One of the most common bits of writing advice you’re beat over the head with is to write what you know. What I knew at that particular moment— what I couldn’t shake— was a funeral, my grandfather, and a stupid writing competition demanding romance and comedy. Then it hit me— “Write what I know.” I was going to write a RomCom which took place in a funeral home. You always hear about folks falling in love at weddings, but there’s a lot more hugging at a funeral. Why not?

It seemed like as good a place for romance as any, so I plagiarized my own life a bit. I wrote a story about a guy who returns home for his grandfather’s funeral, and I tried to include some romance and comedy (and slurping and a broken chair). Before I offer the judges feedback, I thought you might like to read my entry for round one. It’s short at 500 words exactly. Hopefully, reading this before you continue will provide some contexts to the judges’ feedback. I hope you enjoy.

“Service Fees” by J. Aaron Courts
Michael entered the funeral home five minutes before the service was to start and stared at the coffin.
“Did you know him?”
“He was my grandfather,” Michael said, then turned. The woman was wearing jeans and a paint-splattered t-shirt. She slurped coffee and people turned and stared.
“He was my neighbor. Want some?”
“Mia?” Everyone turned again and then she chuckled. Michael hadn’t seen her since school. She gestured the cup towards him.
“Thanks.” Michael drank louder and ended with a pucker and satisfied sigh. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m bereaved. You?”
“I wanted some coffee.” Mia choked. “Y’all Close?”
“My grandma got sick after school, so I moved in. Your grandpa would visit and sit beside her in a broken chair, and they’d watch TV. Want more?”
“No thanks.”
She took another gargling sip and heads began to shake. “One day I noticed he had a letter real close to his face, so I asked if I could read it for him. He declined but brought another the following week and asked if I would read it.”
“He was going blind?”
“He went blind,” she said. “Shortly after, he tripped and hit his head. Grandma was worked up when he didn’t show, and I began walking him over from then on. He made me promise not to tell her that he couldn’t see. He said, ‘A woman should hear she looks nice every once in a while. I don’t want her thinking I’m lying.’ After a while, he started leaving money. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. He called it my ‘geriatrics service fee.’ I protested when he increased my “fee,” but he insisted, so I used it to pay for art school.” Michael laughed.
“You finish that coffee?” She handed Michael the coffee again and he tried one-upping her. Sssssluurrrrp!
“I asked him many times if he’d like for me to write you for him, but I don’t think he wanted you to know he was blind either.”
“That’s why he quit writing back?”
“I think so. Eventually my “fee” even paid for my gallery. I have a show this weekend, in fact— just left the gallery. Are you going to stick around? I bet I could sneak you in.”
“Into your own show?” Michael was sure she grinned. “Can’t— big meeting.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Would you like to sit down? Looks like they’re ready.”
“Can’t— already said my goodbyes and a crew is coming to set up the show.”
“Now, that’s too bad.” He handed her back the coffee.
“Here’s my card; email me your address and I’ll mail you the letters.”
“Letters?”
“Yeah, your letters. I have a box of them.” She was turning to leave.
“Wait!” Everyone turned again. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Setting up.”
“Need some help?”
“What about your meeting?”
“There will be more meetings.”
Mia smiled, and the music started.
“I could use some help,” she said and walked away.
“You were right, grandpa. She is something.”

WHAT THE JUSGES LIKED ABOUT MY STORY:

{J1} The grandpa's personality shines through in Mia's story, and I love the details about him wanting the grandma to hear she looked nice and giving Mia the "fee." The twist that the grandpa told Michael about Mia is sweet, and it adds a special layer to their dynamic, knowing the grandpa was part of it happening, in a way, even after his death.

{J2} I like the premise of this piece. Michael's chance encounter with Mia gives him unexpected insight into his grandfather. Mia was close with the grandfather in his final years, and she could fill in the gaps for Michael. Her stories provided closure that he otherwise would not receive. This premise allowed for strong character development (we see who Mia is as a person) and included a compelling emotional core. The characters move past small talk into something more intimate and vulnerable, which paves the way for a romantic spark.

{J3} I love how the dialogue begins right away— Mia cuts to the chase! She's a great character, and it's great to see her acting with energy in this space, which others clearly dislike, as she slurps coffee, which shows a true appreciation for life. I also love the details, and the sentiment about telling a woman she should be told that she looks like. Adding that line helps the grandpa's character feel more alive in the world, making him more distinct and relevant to the scene.

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WHAT THE JUDGES FELT NEEDS WORK:

{J1} Initially, it's a little difficult to figure out who's speaking and how everyone is related to each other, especially on the first page when Mia is talking about moving in. Adding some more speech tags and actions could help make for a smoother, less confusing read and help us more vividly picture what's unfolding. Knowing what Michael does for a living could help us picture what his and Mia's life could look like together down the road.

{J2} I want to see more exposition balanced with the dialogue. While we learn a lot about Mia through the dialogue, I want to know more about Michael. (What's going on in his life? What's the big meeting for? What's going on in his internal / emotional world? What does he hope to learn from the letters— where did he leave off?) Adding more context about Michael will give this scene greater significance.

{J3} In moments, I wasn't sure which character was speaking, so I suggest adding more direct dialogue tags so there's no doubt. (Especially the last line!) I also love how the reader gets to feel the scornful presence of the surrounding people, but it would be even better if the imagery was clearer— the number of people, and what they look like, for example. I suggest spending a bit more time establishing the visual aspects of the setting. Especially since the start of the service is approaching— this is a good time crunch for the characters, and it comes into the story toward the end, but it would be even better if there were visual signs that others were getting quiet and ready for the service, while the talkative romance continued to unfold.

I think all the feedback was pretty fair, and the constructive criticism really helped me see ways to improve my writing. I’ve revised the short story based on the judges’ feedback and feel like it is improved by the revisions.

These micro stories on expedited timelines remind me of the rifle range in the Corps. Aim small, miss small, as we say. The competitions are surgical, and the stories must be as well. There’s absolutely no room for error or any place to hide. I’ve got a few irons in the fire at the moment, so I’m not sure when I’ll compete in my next NYC Midnight writing challenge, but I sure have learned a lot from the two I’ve competed in so far.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention how everything turned out. I didn’t make it into the second round, but I did receive an honorable mention. I can’t tell you how exciting it was to receive that distinction. There were over 4,200 writers who competed in this challenge. Only 1,000 were advanced to round 2, and of the remaining 3,200 participants, only 500 were awarded honorable mentions. My math indicates the worst I could have come across the line is in 1,500th place! Of course, that also means that I could have been 1,001st. Either way (or anywhere in between), I count this challenge as evidence of improved writing. It was an overall success and more rewarding than I anticipated— cathartic even— and one that I’m thankful I stuck out.

If you're interested in more information about the challenge I participated in, or entering a NYC Midnight challenge of your own, please check out their website below3. As mentioned, they have different types of writing challenges throughout the year, so there really is something for everyone. Or, if you’re more into reading than writing, past winners’ stories are available for your pleasure.

And they are just that— a pleasure.

Semper Fidelis.

The Sword & Pen

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